Toddler Jekyl, Toddler Hyde



You are at doctor's office with your children. For the first time in days, your children are quiet, agreeable, and pleasant. They play nicely with the other children, and say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" to the nurse attendant that offers them paper to write on during your wait. The mother next to  you states "Wow, your children are so well behaved. How do you do it?" You chuckle, because literally, you have no idea. In fact, the two children sitting and playing nicely at your feet don't seem the two heathens that your birthed at all. At home, they are two totally different children: screaming, yelling, fighting, arguing. You are completely surprised that they are writing on the paper and not on the walls, the floor, or inside the nice Parenting Magazines that are strewn across the waiting room table. You are even more surprised that when you told the oldest demon child to pick up the coloring pages off the floor, she actually did it, without a fight, a tantrum, a attitude, or blatant disrespect. You find yourself thinking, Who are you, and what have you done with my children?

I know that you have all experienced a similar situation at least once in your wise years of parenting. Just last week, I went to my daughter's first Parent-Teacher-Conference to hear her teacher excitedly praise just how "polite", "friendly" and "well-behaved" she is. "She's such a sweet child! She follows directions, and is so excited to learn! She's very socialble and so giving!" Now, anyone who knows my daughter knows that she is not a bad child, but really? Polite? Follows directions? Eager to learn? Giving? It's hard to picture that when at home, I can't even get her to share the same air with her brother. Eager to learn? It's like pulling teeth to get her write her name at the top of her homework, let alone actually doing her homework. And yes ma'am no ma'am? Really? I don't even get that type of respect! Are we talking about the same kid here?

Why is this? Why do children (some) behave so well outside of the home? After  reflecting on my family situation, I have come to several conclusions:

Discipline: In places such as school, teachers and care-takers usually have a consistant discipline regimen that all of the children are aware of. As stated in the article Morning Rush, children need consistency. This consistant discipline should be positive, structured and guided. If you are in a home with multiple children, the basis of discipline should be the same across the board. Discipline should also stay consistant outside of the home. Children should not be allowed to get away with mindless behavior simply because they are not in their home setting.
.
Respect: As my mother always said, "You have to give respect to get respect", and this statement should also be used when dealing with children. I've noticed that some parents are nicer to their children in public vs. the comfort of their own home. In public, people are more aware of their tone, their language (both body and verbal) ect. In these ways, we are showing our children respect. In these ways, we are teaching our children how to be respectful. Children learn from our behavior, so we as parents should be mindful of this and model the behavior that we expect from our children EVERYWHERE...even when no one else is looking.

What are your thoughts? What about children that misbehave in public?

UPDATE

Due to recent programming changes, Parent of the Week will be extended to Parent of the Month. Submissions will still be excepted as usual and prizes will still be distributed as usual. Check out KRPD Parent of the Week link for more information! Thanks!

Share the Laughter!

If you have children, I am sure that you have a funny story to tell! What funny thing did your child do/say this week?

Drugging Your Kid to Sleep

Ever been tempted to drug your kid to sleep? Lol. I know that it sounds absolutely awful, but I don't think that I'd believe you if you said that you never thought about slipping your cranky, whiney toddler a teaspoon of NyQuil...

I remember one instance in particular, I was having a terrible time getting my son to sleep. He wouldnt respond to any of my attempts to get him to close his big beautiful eyes. You know, sleep deprivation causes a parent to do some pretty questionable things, such as  sitting your child on the dryer in hopes that the repetitive humming and vibrations will put him to sleep or strapping your child in his carseat at 2am and driving around the block, in hopes that the car ride will put him to sleep. Oh, by the way, despite how convincing those tactics looked on the commercials, they didn't quite work for me....

So I called mom, and she said a warm bath would do the trick...It was a trick alright, because after the bath, instead of a sleepy kid, I simply had a cranky, whiney, clean kid. And not to mention, the sound of the running water woke up my daughter. Grrrr!!! So here it is, 4am, I have to be to work in 4 hours without a wink of sleep, and now I have a sleepy, whiney kid; a cranky, whiney kid; and a dead to to the world boyfriend, sleeping peacefully in the next room (Who, by the way, didn't even have to work the next day). It was at that moment that I remembered WHY my dead to the world boyfriend was sleeping so peacefully...he took NyQuil!

Boy was I tempted...

And I'm sure that there are other parents out there that has been in the same or similar situation. Maybe not with NyQuil, but other children's medication such as Tylenol, Benadryl, and Robitussin. All of these medications contain diphenhydramine, an antihistimine that induces drowsiness.
This is a very controversial topic. On one hand, it is taboo and even warned against on the labels of such children's mediction NOT to take as a sleep sedative. In fact, according to abcnews.com, giving a child medication as a sleep aid is a form of child abuse and illicit drug abuse (see article here) however, a doctor will prescribe an antihistimine as a sleep aid. Hmmm...

Have you ever given, or thought about giving your child a sedative to sleep? Share your stories in the comment section!

Below are some NON drug sleep aides, courtesy of babycenter.com. Hope they work for you!

• Thumb sucking
• Nightlights
• Bedtime rituals
• Transitional Objects
• Warm Milk
• Rocking or Breastfeeding
• Pacifier
• Ambient Noise
• Music

Didn't notice warm bath on that list huh? Yea, me either...lol. For more, visit Baby Center at http://www.babycenter.com/0_sleep-aids-for-toddlers_1290152.bc

Dealing With Death: The Story of Fishy

About two months ago, my children went through a phase of wanting a dog. Everytime we went to the park, they cried for the first pooch they saw. Everytime they heard anything remotely close to a bark, they cried for a dog. (Funny story- one day my Father was over and let out a big one. My daughter ran up to him, excited as ever, with the biggest smile on her face: "Grandpa! Can I see the doggie you brought for us that's in your back pocket?" Grandpa: "Aint no dog in my pocket girl!" Daughter: "Yeah, uh-huh because I heard it. But it smells like you need to take him a bath because it smells like fart." Lol, kids say the darndest things!) My children even went so far as to pretend they were dogs...very embarrassing when they decided to do that in the grocery store. So I decided to take them to a place where they could at least play with some cute, clean puppies. PetLand. They loved it. Surprisingly, even I fell in love with a pooch or two, but after considering the extra responsibility (owning a puppy is like having another toddler) I decided against that REAL quick. Instead, I did what any smart mama would do...I got a fish. A single red and blue beta that I let the kids pick out.

The kids loved that fish. For two weeks, they ignored Spongebob, The Wondepets, and even me and dedicated all of their attention to Fishy. They stared, they tapped, they wobbled the table and screamed "URFQUAKE!" as poor Fishy shook all around in his bowl. 

A few weeks ago, while I was cleaning out our fish bowl, "Fishy" put his grand plan into motion and decided to escape. As the children watched, Fishy jumped from his spare bowl, right into the sink! I tried to put the stopper in place before he flip-flopped down the drain, but I couldn't move fast enough. The kids were screaming as we heard him flopping around in the garbage disposal. I tried to grab him but to no avail. I had no choice but to turn the disposal on to get rid of him. (Kinda nasty knowing that a dead fish could possibly be stuck in my sink.)  So I washed my hands, grabbed some fruit snacks and sent the kids to the front room to snack and play while I became Grimm.

After the deed was complete, I had to face them and explain to them the concept of loss and death. Trust me, if you havent yet, this could be very difficult task. But because my children are master story tellers, I decided to tell them a story about what they saw and asked for them to tell me a stories about their limited memories with Fishy. We finished the discussion in the kitchen and my daughter insisted that they sprinkle a little fish food down the drain so "Fishy won't be hungry in his better place."

Explaining the death of pet can be a very hard thing to do. Below, I have compiled links of helpful ideas for you and your child to cope with the loss of a pet.

 Children and Pet Loss: Age related developmental stages related to the death of a pet,   
questions children may ask, involving children in memoralizing pets, and books.

Explaining the Death of A Pet: The Do's and Don'ts

When A Pet Dies: Parent and Teen tips on how to cope.

Explaining the Loss of A Pet to A Child: Kristen Houghton from Huffington Post gives some helpful tips.
Children and Pet Loss: More developmental and age appropriate approaches.

Morning Rush

"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say hello-goodbye, I'm late! I'm late! I'm late! I'M LATE!"

Sound familiar? I know that I am not the only mother who feels like Alice's white rabbit on weekday mornings..If your family is anything like mine, it doesn't even matter how early you wake up or how much you've prepped the night before. You could have gotten the kids in and out the tub in record time, ironed clothes, packed lunches for the next day, and put the book bags, your purse and keys by the door , yet, 62 seconds before you are supposed to be out the door, you still find yourself struggling to brush your teeth while fighting to put shoes on two sleepy, grouchy kids. (And then, after you finally managed to check the house for active appliances, grab the lunches and book bags, turn off all the lights, set the alarm, lock the doors, comfortably buckle the kids in their booster seats and prepare to pull out the driveway, you hear the five most dreaded words that any parent in a rush could hear: "mommy, I gotta go potty.") 
.
Here a few ideas to help you and your children survive the morning rush:

• Create a morning routine and stick with it. Maintaining a morning routine will not only help you to meet your morning goals, but a routine will also give your child a sense of security and consistency, improve their organizational and time-management skills, and even boost their confidence!  For more information on the importance of routines, click here.
• Let your children join the fun! Create a personalized chart and post it in your bathroom or child's bedroom. For example, you and your children can create a chart of daily morning responsibilities (making bed, brush teeth, wash face, potty time, get dressed, etc.) within a designated time frame (7 minutes work well for my kindergartner and toddler) Use stickers -the star shaped stickers are not only fun, but you can find them almost anywhere- to show your child's daily progress. If your child/ren completed their chart at the end of the week, give them some type of reward.  Remember,  reward does not have to be anything monetary. A hug, a kiss, or a tickle can do! For free, printable  charts, visit morning routine charts.
• Give clear, firm directions to help children stay on task.
• Let's face it, kids tend to have their own agenda's. When we are ready to get dressed, s/he may be ready to play with a toy that was left in the middle of the floor the previous evening. To cut back on distractions, try to remove any and all objects (such as toys) from the child's prep area the night before.
• Children feed off our energy, so it is important that you remain calm during the morning rush.

HOPE THIS HELPS!

Fight Club: What Do Your Children/Siblings Fight About the Most?

 

Ah, the joys of parenting...
From arguments over who finished dinner first to screaming matches over toys, sibling rivalry is one of the many challenges that we as parents face...most of us, multiple times a day. Heck, just today I have been the referee to a fight over toys, the arbitrator of an argument about who should use the bathroom first (though we have three of them), and the conciliator of of a massive meltdown over the magical disappearance of a pack of princess fruit-snacks. All of that...before lunch.

What is sibling rivalry, you ask? Well, it must be noted that every family and every situation is different. According to Dictionary.com, sibling rivaly is competition between siblings for attention, affection, and approval from their parents. Ha. As flattering as this definition sounds,  my experiences have been quite different.  In fact, when my kids quabble, I don't believe that its about getting my attention or approval at all. It's about getting what they want, when they want it, how they want it, and from whomever they want it...most of the time, that "whomever" is each other...which is where the problems come in.

I am no expert at solving every parenting issue, in fact Im quite new to it, but in my spectacular five years of being "mommy", I have learned that it does take a village to raise a child...my village just so happens to be my limited experience, my children's grandparents, the BIBLE, self-help books (including parenting magazines) and, of course, the internet. Below, I have compiled several links for your review on the definition of sibling rivaly, its perceived causes, and how to cope with it. Good luck!


Read articles used by parents just like you!

About Sibling Rivalry , How to Handle Sibling Rivalry , Sibling Harmony , Sibling Rivaly , Sibling Relationships , Focus on Family , Toddlers and Rivalry , Positive Parenting 
What do your children fight about the most? Share your rivalry stories here.