Dealing With Death: The Story of Fishy

About two months ago, my children went through a phase of wanting a dog. Everytime we went to the park, they cried for the first pooch they saw. Everytime they heard anything remotely close to a bark, they cried for a dog. (Funny story- one day my Father was over and let out a big one. My daughter ran up to him, excited as ever, with the biggest smile on her face: "Grandpa! Can I see the doggie you brought for us that's in your back pocket?" Grandpa: "Aint no dog in my pocket girl!" Daughter: "Yeah, uh-huh because I heard it. But it smells like you need to take him a bath because it smells like fart." Lol, kids say the darndest things!) My children even went so far as to pretend they were dogs...very embarrassing when they decided to do that in the grocery store. So I decided to take them to a place where they could at least play with some cute, clean puppies. PetLand. They loved it. Surprisingly, even I fell in love with a pooch or two, but after considering the extra responsibility (owning a puppy is like having another toddler) I decided against that REAL quick. Instead, I did what any smart mama would do...I got a fish. A single red and blue beta that I let the kids pick out.

The kids loved that fish. For two weeks, they ignored Spongebob, The Wondepets, and even me and dedicated all of their attention to Fishy. They stared, they tapped, they wobbled the table and screamed "URFQUAKE!" as poor Fishy shook all around in his bowl. 

A few weeks ago, while I was cleaning out our fish bowl, "Fishy" put his grand plan into motion and decided to escape. As the children watched, Fishy jumped from his spare bowl, right into the sink! I tried to put the stopper in place before he flip-flopped down the drain, but I couldn't move fast enough. The kids were screaming as we heard him flopping around in the garbage disposal. I tried to grab him but to no avail. I had no choice but to turn the disposal on to get rid of him. (Kinda nasty knowing that a dead fish could possibly be stuck in my sink.)  So I washed my hands, grabbed some fruit snacks and sent the kids to the front room to snack and play while I became Grimm.

After the deed was complete, I had to face them and explain to them the concept of loss and death. Trust me, if you havent yet, this could be very difficult task. But because my children are master story tellers, I decided to tell them a story about what they saw and asked for them to tell me a stories about their limited memories with Fishy. We finished the discussion in the kitchen and my daughter insisted that they sprinkle a little fish food down the drain so "Fishy won't be hungry in his better place."

Explaining the death of pet can be a very hard thing to do. Below, I have compiled links of helpful ideas for you and your child to cope with the loss of a pet.

 Children and Pet Loss: Age related developmental stages related to the death of a pet,   
questions children may ask, involving children in memoralizing pets, and books.

Explaining the Death of A Pet: The Do's and Don'ts

When A Pet Dies: Parent and Teen tips on how to cope.

Explaining the Loss of A Pet to A Child: Kristen Houghton from Huffington Post gives some helpful tips.
Children and Pet Loss: More developmental and age appropriate approaches.